By Jamahl Hokstam
Emotions are an important part of our lives, but they can also be overwhelming and cause us to make impulsive decisions,” says renowned psychologist, Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo. Most decisions we make are based on the emotions we feel at that moment. We must, therefore, become aware of each emotion in order to control them and not have them control us.
As a person of color, it can become easy for people to label you as angry, creating a false perception of you as a person. “Don’t let anyone else’s perceptions of you control your emotions,” advises Lombardo. “Only you have the power to control your emotions.”
Plenty of people regret the decisions they made when they were emotionally compromised. The first lesson of controlling your emotions is knowing that once you say or do something, there is no taking it back. So learn from what you are feeling and allow yourself enough time to process it fully before reacting.
The second lesson is to pretend you’re observing your life from another point of view. “Sometimes we can be triggered by our own false perception in a situation, but once you start to change the way you see things, you’ll learn new things you would have never noticed before,” says Lombardo.
Other times it may have been an emotional transfer from someone around us that’s having an effect on us. Certain negative people are capable of passing those emotions forward. Lesson number three is, therefore, to protect your energy from these types of people. You can do this by affirming that no one can change your energy except for yourself.
Here are some more steps to take when you’re feeling a sudden wave of emotions:
Take a deep breath.
Make sure this is an emotion you’re feeling and not one that someone has transferred to you.
Ask yourself why you’re feeling like this.
Try to label what you’re feeling so you know what to do next.
Ask yourself a simple question: How will my response affect me five minutes from now?
Then ask yourself: Will this event matter five minutes from now?
“Not allowing yourself to process the feelings as they come and go can cause you to become numb to life, or rather gives you the perception of being numb until you can no longer hold these feelings in, which is usually when people start to develop mental disorders,” explains Lombardo.
In conclusion, we should learn about the emotions we’re experiencing to break free from them. “Life is a rollercoaster, and without understanding, you can lose control quickly,” says Lombardo. “Life offers many things, but opportunities only come once. So, in order not to get caught in the cycle, learn how the wheel works.”
Remember, “The only way to change the way you feel is to change the way you think,” says Dr. Dan Siegel, author of “Mindsight.” By taking control of your emotions, you can change your life..